HAYWIRE Mini-Review by Steve Oatney —

I’M SUCH A FAN OF:

Gina Carano (Ex-MMA Fighter) 

Steven Soderbergh (Director: Ocean’s Eleven & Erin Brockovich) 

Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi & Christian) 

Michael Fassbender (Magneto & Lt. Archie Hicox) 

Michael Douglas (Jack T. Colton & William ‘D-Fens’ Foster) 

Antonio Banderas (El Mariachi & Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan) 

Bill Paxton (Pvt. Hudson & Morgan Earp) 

I’m even OK with: Channing Tatum (Duke & Tyler). 

HOWEVER, I am not a fan of Haywire, sadly. 

I went in with somewhat low expectations, and received less than expected. All I was seeking, was a decent spy-story with decent action, and maybe some better than average acting from the star-studded cast. The performances were some of the most flat, one-dimensional portrayals I’ve seen this group of veteran actors deliver. 

Carano can be forgiven, as she only only just begun acting, but her fight/chase scenes just could not save the blah movie with a blah storyline. The super simplistic story arc only scratched the surface of being intriguing, at the very end. Too little, too late. 

I will commend their work in making an atypical action movie. It did NOT feel like your everyday, run-of-the-mill martial-arts secret-agent flick. It had a quiet tone, and did NOT rely on special-effects, nor pyrotechnics, nor even exaggerated sound-effects. Unfortunately, the quiet tone, slow-moving, suspense-lacking aspects dragged Haywire into the ho-hum zone, for me.